Have you ever flown a fighter plane during WWII? Have you ever wanted to? Is the answer yes? If so, you might have been one of the first Americans to try delicious GLORP Gum!
Originally created as a treatment for motion sickness in German fighter pilots, this medicinal wonder gum was brought “kicking and screaming” to US shores by brave American soldiers during a German U-boat attack in 1942. It was there, on a fiery bombed out German ship, hidden beneath a pile of KohlModer (fermented cabbage bread), that they found a cowardly German scientist by the name of Magnus Von Tiesenhausen, along with his two prized German Sheppards, Keinvetizienz, and Schreckschraubeflammenwerfer.
It didn’t take long for ol’ Magnus to roll over on his Nazi pals and reveal many invaluable German military secrets, such as the V-2 combat rocket, V-8 encapsulated plant beverage technology, and a recipe for a little something called “furzen gummibaum.” This chewable wonder pellet was a perfect solution to the growing problem of airsickness among many US fighter pilots.
Known to most US fighter pilots as “the Glorps,” airsickness was a constant enemy in the new arena of WWII air combat. Phrases like “Don’t let the Glorps getcha’,” “Keep your spirits up by keeping the Glorps down,” and “Barfing in a plane sucks bloody Hitler balls” found their way onto soldier’s planes, jackets, and patches. Even US scientists referred to Formula XR74 as “the Glorp gum.” Just like Hitler’s pathetic piss soaked carcass, It was meant to be!
As popular as “The Glorp Gum” became with pilots, it was quickly found to be less than .04% effective in preventing most cases of airsickness. However, the formula had already gone into intensive production across the country. Rather than admit a mistake, the government decided to explore additional products to aid the gum in wartime success.
By the time the Korean War came along, pilots were issued a specially designed “Super Absorbent T-shirt” to help the gum with it’s “one, two, punch” to knock out motion sickness in US airmen, and give them a much needed burst of energy (and flavor!)
T-shirts were already popular among soldiers, and many fighter pilots saw the Glorp Gum T-Shirts as a good luck charm. Glorp Gum T-Shirts became so popular that many army bases installed vending machines to distribute Glorp Gum and T-shirts to non-air combat soldiers. If you were in the air, or on the ground there was always a way to “keep the Glorp Gum Ghoul at bay”.
