You’ll be disturbed by what he uncovered.
A 71 year old retired oceanographer from La Jolla, CA was shocked to discover a secret shark message during the performance of the song “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradly Cooper at last week’s Oscar ceremonies. The La Jolla man spent much of his career translating the “shark song”, or shark language, many sharks including the Great White but nothing prepared him for what he heard during the middle of the song.
The retired oceanographer claims that the long section of moaning sounds that Lady Gaga executed during the second half of the performance was not actual human language but was instead shark song. He has translated that section of the song as follows; “Amity Beach, I did not die, held in captivity all these years gone by.” The shark song expert claims that the message may be from the shark responsible for the Amity Incident of 1975 where five people and one dog lost their lives. “Look, I know everything there is to know about sharks but I didn’t actually see that sonofabitch die. There were rumors of a robot shark.”
Lady Gaga’s representatives declined to respond to our inquiry as to how the Oscar winner was able to sing shark. The renowned marine biologist, and one time America’s Cup winner, requested that his name be kept anonymous stating, “I’ve already got enough weirdos on my lawn every Shark Week. I don’t need Lady Gaga’s Little Monsters trampling the wife’s begonias”.
I like Lady Gaga a lot.