43 year-old Grangeville, Idaho man Harold Howell recently declared that he does not like the band Foo Fighters despite being from the 1990s. “I’ve been wrestling with this for twenty four years and it’s time that I face the truth and admit that I just can’t get into Foo Fighters,” states the social worker and father of three.
Like everyone else on the planet that was under the age of thirty when MTV moved Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” from obscurity on Headbanger’s Ball to mainstream exposure as a Buzz Clip in the fall of 1991, Howell says that Nirvana changed his life. “Nirvana was and is my favorite band. So of course, after Kurt was murdered, I followed and bought everything that Krist Novoselic and Dave Grohl did. Some of it was okay. I liked that Sweet 75 record well enough but something about the Foo Fighters just never set right with me.”
“I never could get past how annoying that Mentos themed video was. Just, unforgivable. WTF was with those pigtails Dave?” Like all Nirvana fans, the Grangeville man bought all of Foo Fighters albums and saw them at least once on each major tour but the Dave Grohl fronted band could not fill the hole left by the murder of Kurt Cobain. “Their sounds is too… California. Dave’s voice sounds like an impression of someone singing a rock song. It’s not authentic. Each song is like a commercial for what is probably a pretty good song in some alternate dimension. And what’s Pat Smear even doing? Is his guitar even plugged in?”
“People always assume that I like the Foo Fighters just because I’m from the 1990s. They’ll yell at me, hey, where’s your flannel Monkey Wrench? Where’s the rave Everlong? It’s a lot of pressure to live up to those expectations and I just can’t fake it anymore,” the substitute Sunday school teacher confessed. “I just wish people could look past this and accept me for who I am. Maybe their next album will be better. I did really love that Probot album.”
