Hey, you! Yes YOU. The way you chew your bubble gum says you’re a goddamned genius.

Hey, you. Yes you, fatso. The one who’s smacking your gum all loud & junk? Yeah, well, listen up. You sir, are a doctor AND professor. The way you gnaw on that gum like you are from another fuckin’ planet and you’ve never seen the shit, means you are a goddamn genius over here.  

Oh, look at you. You done got it all figured out. Your mealy mouth full of cud and chewing; always with the chewing like some sort of brilliant cow. Lemme guess. Cancer was cured by you as you just sit there & masticate that same piece of effing gum. Always with the gum and the chewing. You chew and you chew. Chew and you chew. Oh, Mr. Smart guy is chewing gum and that’s why he is so smart. Yeah, keep munching, buddy boy. The world needs it now more than ever.

  • Chew gum with your mouth open? Genius!
  • Chew gum with your mouth closed? Genius!
  • Blow bubbles with your bubble gum? Yup. You guessed it. Genius!

The quest to unravel the origins of genius may never reach an end point. I’m not as smart as you, so I don’t know shit. Like the goddamned universe, its mysteries will continue to challenge us, even as we reach for the stars but with you on board and chewing gum, I know we will get there sooner than later.

Bleven Celluloid

Bleven Celluloid is a customer transaction & purchased goods co-ordinator at Kroger. He studied science journalism at home on the weekends and during lunch breaks. His online diploma from Hawaii State University is “In The Mail.”

1 Comment

  1. I think those photos are fake. Why? Because I’m a genius and I know that both Dr. King and Albert Einstein were dead many years before bubble gum was invented. Whose the genius now? Way to go, Einstein.

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